Male-Bovine-Perf-Logs

Cold hearted dick!

2012-01-26T03:38:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't be surprised to see something like this on my car when it snows.

Toothpaste 2

2012-01-23T03:47:00.000-08:00

Maybe this is why kids don't wanna brush their teeth.
Seems there is a common concept with toothpaste from a previous post.

The force has so many uses

2012-01-20T03:46:00.000-08:00

Darth is just soooo evil!!

Heh

2012-01-19T15:44:00.000-08:00

That's it...just heh.

Get your mind out of the gutter

2012-01-19T03:36:00.000-08:00

He is putting beads ON his tail.
But still.....LMFAO!!!

Please explain...

2012-01-18T15:19:00.000-08:00

Does anyone have any idea whats up with these boots?
Is it so they can scratch their nose with them?
I have seen more and more pics of these type boots, and honestly don't feel like looking it up.
So I am hoping someone will be kind enough to post what these are all about.
I have seen a couple in person, but not nearly this extreme.

I can not see any reason for them other than to look stupid.

I wanna put all my glory to the lord!!!

2012-01-17T04:43:00.000-08:00

Thank you Jesus for allowing me to make millions.
and I will hook you up...here is a few thousand in the offering plate.

Sorry I couldn't be there on Sundays and all....you know how sports are.
I will get back to ya though when I can visit more often.

What?!? There are starving kids all over the world....DAMMMIT!!! I need to make a commercial to get OTHER people to donate.

Sure the commercial cost about $400,000 to produce, but hey, it is worth every penny, so we can get the average, working hard as fuck, class people to donate the tiny money they have, while we keep our millions!

FUCK YOU!!!
Hypocritical fucks!

Facebook Chat

2012-01-16T15:01:00.000-08:00

Semi rant and serious question at the same time.
I would have made a FB post similar to this, but it would then offend about 45 people on my list for sure.
Anyhow... Is it just me?
Seriously need comments on this.
Is it annoying as hell, to anyone else (who has a FB page) that people use a photo as the "Long time no see" chat log???

In case I need to explain further:
Photo is posted by A.
B comments "you look great! How have you been?"
A comments back "Hey B, sup girlfriend aint herd from u n 4ever" etc.................................
Sometimes this lasts about 30+ comments.

If it is not bad enough to see that on someone else's photo...
it is so much worse when two of them catch each other in comments in your photo not either one of thiers..

woooooohooooooo its on!!! Yes SP that was for you

Is it just me? I could not find anything on google to show me that I am not alone here, so it must be just me.

Crotchety old sarcasticist bastard!!!

Look mom...super bubbles!

2012-01-16T03:44:00.000-08:00

We don't need a wand or soapy solution.
Here mom you try!!

Hush the big mouth

2011-12-06T03:27:00.000-08:00

Nuff said!!

Black Friday

2011-11-28T04:43:00.000-08:00

Looking at this, really helps me to relax after Black Friday...
Ohmmmmm
Ohmmmmm
Follow up post to tell my Black Friday story...soon

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-21T03:42:00.000-08:00

Figured I better post something nice to look at over the holiday.
Odds are I won't post anything for a few days, so I leave us with a great view.

What is that sound?

2011-11-15T03:56:00.000-08:00

Mommy, why is everyone looking at us??
Is it because you are so pretty?
Why do I keep hearing a swooshing sound?
Why does it always smell funny when you wear those pants? Like burning bacon?

Gotta love mullets

2011-11-10T03:34:00.000-08:00

As if the mullet isn't enough....we have to put him in a tyedye shirt to really rock it!!!!

Probably so

2011-11-08T03:35:00.000-08:00

Leave it to the churches, to take the one thing that is yours, and yours alone and make it wrong to touch it.
Pretty sure that any mention in the bible about it...is really non existant. The few quotes they say about "self love" are referring to an ego, more than popping a nut on your own.

If it is true.....a lot of monkeys on you tube will be sharing hell with me.

Hot air

2011-11-05T08:08:00.000-07:00

I know it is not real, but it would be one awesome balloon if it were.
Careful of the exhaust.

Jersey Shore

2011-10-23T07:09:00.000-07:00

I suffered through only listening to 2 episodes of this show. Was on the PC and did not watch...did not have to watch...hearing it, was all I needed to understand how bad it is going to be in America 10 yeaars from now.

How can we be considered the top of the food chain or a being of intelligence while this kind of TV is playing?
Seriously.........
no really.......Seriously.
(shaking my lowered head, slowly in dissapointment)

Brain Farts

2011-10-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

Regular Farts.

We all get them. Some think they are funnier than most.

Hitman Monkey

2011-10-18T18:01:00.000-07:00

I have seen these all over the net, so I figured I would put a few together for you.

It takes a second...

2011-10-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

If you do not see it...look again.
This picture was taken about 3 seconds before a whole lot of screaming.
LMAO

Heart Rate # 27

2011-10-16T19:57:00.000-07:00

I know there has to be a select few that sya..."it's about time!"
Sorry....just haven't been feelin it lately...but startin to feel the post urge comin on.
So more to come soon I am sure.

True Dat!

2011-10-10T03:55:00.000-07:00

It is like someone who knew me wrote this!

What happened

2011-08-29T04:33:00.000-07:00

Seriously....

Priorities

2011-08-12T04:24:00.000-07:00

I know this is a little past it's time already...but I like it anyway.

To the Bama fans

2011-08-05T04:32:00.000-07:00

Is this what you mean when you say I should post more like this?
I think everyone is getting tired of redneck posts so it is hard to find material...

Not so subtle

2011-08-04T04:18:00.000-07:00

Really Big....that's what she said.

Rock on Mr. Chin!!

2011-07-26T04:24:00.000-07:00

All I can see when I look at this guy, is a Well Done Mr. Chin.

Took me a minute

2011-07-23T06:49:00.000-07:00

If you cant see the very cool optical illusion here....kinda sucks for you.
Don't know if it is a Photoshop or not.... don't care...it is cool.
If it is legit, and not shopped, that would be straight up awesome.

I know I sound like a bit of a dick in this post...but I could have said something about shitting bricks, then I would have been a douche. I am much happier being a dick.

Teens

2011-07-19T17:28:00.001-07:00

This may be a re-post...I don't know, and really don't care, but it is still holding true.
So so so true!

According to this thing...

2011-07-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

It's in the book...Look it up!
OJ.

(Inside jokes appearing frequently now with the Signature OJ)

Don't hate....

2011-07-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

I know the feelin brotha!!

Cry for your parents

2011-07-12T09:50:00.000-07:00

Babies like this do not cry because they are hungry or hurt...they cry because they know what the next 18 years are gonna bring with their parents.
All of us should be allowed some sort of retaliation agains our parents for each picture like this they have.

Redneck fun

2011-07-12T03:39:00.000-07:00

Alright Becky Sue it's time for watching the bug zapper.

Hey Mr. Anonymous...

2011-06-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

Yes I am letting a troll get a reaction...but I have to...I just..don't..under..stand. I am such a nice guy, why would anyone be so hateful...I cried a little. For most of you who would have never seen this post I received earlier today...here is the link and read the comments...

My question is...why? Are you the Tiger Man and you really did not like my post?? Do you know me personally, because if you do, that I would understand, because I am a bit of a dick.

Can you dive into your vast vocabulary and elaborate on the why?? Then you might make me really cry.

But until then enjoy the rest of this post.

If that is not clear enough....

And here is MORE from a previous post

See, much more style to mine...and you have a pretty good idea why I did this.
You don't even have to disclose a name...just say why.

Heart Rate # 26

2011-06-28T03:48:00.000-07:00

gotta love yoga pants/spandex/cotton/...you get the idea.

Lazy people

2011-06-27T04:32:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure somebody did some time travel....then they found my son's future apartment.
With his style of cleaning, which is to wait for someone else to do it...this has to be what his apartment will look like when he is on his own.

We have all thought it

2011-06-17T03:46:00.000-07:00

Even as an old man I still think of this when I see one.

Makes ya wonder

2011-06-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

I could rant down a long road on this one...but I will point something out:

In the summer of 1963, 17-year-old New Yorker Frances "Baby" Houseman (Jennifer Grey) is vacationing with her affluent family at Kellerman's, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirty_Dancing

Why is the movie "Dirty Dancing" such a hit...it is a 25-28 year old MAN hooking up with a 17 year old girl...and I believe in the movie she JUST turned 17.

If it were my daughter and this guys walks up and say's "nobody puts baby in the corner" ...he just lost 5 teeth.

I call BULLSHIT on this movie!!!

Rough night

2011-06-02T03:53:00.000-07:00

Hey buddy....want another shot?
What?!? you are gonna flip me off after puking all over my car?
"Dude, remember that night you got soooo wasted?"
ahhhhh good times.

WTF of the How ever long its been # 29

2011-05-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

Short note about Shay...not sure how things will work out here in the near future, doing a starting mid life crisis here as of 3 weeks ago. So I may be posting a lot more or a lot less...dunno....today i certainly posted back like the old days of 1-2 a day. I am currently trying to change my life...not gonna sit in front of the PC as much as I was, and losing weight and making a complete lifestyle change. The yay me part...I was 318 lbs now at 302 in three weeks. Goal is 275 at present...when I hit 275 I will go for 250...this will take a long time but I am doing it!!!! I have set my mind and IT IS ON!!!
So on that note we will see where the blog goes...I promise if you check on it there will be new posts at least once a week...maybe every day...but there will be posts.

Then I bring back the FREAKS of the week again, it has been a while for a pure freak...this guy is a repeat i do admit...check the older post here.
Seriously, the earlobes are just plain nasty!!!
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!!! Get over it freak.

The tramp stamp

2011-05-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

I am not one of those who believe the TS makes a girl seem easy or a tramp or whatever you wanna call it.
Buuuuut...if you have them similar to the above...then....yeah, you deserve the titles.

Handlebars - no real need to explain...you wanna be ridden we get it...
Name both ways on your back - WOW that is pretty loud and clear!
Scripture on the top O' crack - for me to properly comment = too much to type. Really?!?!?!?what is the point here? are you a Christian? if so, rethink it. Are you trying to point out "love" to the guy slamming you from behind??? REALLY?!?!?!

Technically this could fall in the stereotype category, because there are very nice and tastefull tattoos done in the same spot, who now have the title of Tramp Stamp, when is isn't justly deserved.

I sigh in pity for the new generation of 18-25 year olds......SIGH...

Ok it is time!!!

2011-05-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

Time to bring back the REAL ass. No more narrow hipped, bony, underage looking models!!
The models need to start looking like REAL WOMEN!

Sagia Castaneda! A real woman with curves and hips and just all around BADASS SEXY!!!!
All the Heartrate I need for a year.
She is the woman from the Pitbull videos, and about the sexiest woman ever.
Ahhh the good ole 80's when Jordache and Sergio Valente jeans knew how to make an ass look soooo right.
Now all the new hip-huggers do is make an ass flat and show a muffin top that wouldn't even exist without such stupid pants.

Just in case she ever were to accidentally see this.. Sagia, will you marry me?

Ninja in training

2011-05-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

Absolutely amazing....watch all 4 minutes...it is worth it.

Great People

2011-05-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

Words to live by.
I like it!

Dumb pirate joke

2011-05-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

What is a pirate's favorite letter???

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.

Arrrrrrrr...ya think it be the R....but it be the C.

If you don't get it...quit reading my blog because your'e not smart enough.

For the Star Wars nerds

2011-05-17T04:13:00.000-07:00

Star Wars nerds or not, you have to appreciate the simplicity, yet genius of the picture.

Yes I am a partial SW nerd, it was my generation who grew up during that time....not like the nerds who were born 12 years later and think they are the true fans and dress up and find a talking rottweiler puppet and a camera in their face. My generation grew up saying they were great movies...not really wishing we had a M-Falcon or a Tie-Fighter.

But I regress, this blog is not about me going off on tangents...it is a warm and fuzzy place with kitties and bunnies...well ok, cats who smoke and pubic hares...and I suppose I have an opinion once in a blue moon.

You are da man!

2011-05-09T04:20:00.001-07:00

Nothing says "check out how hot I am" like your mother in the background of you flexing.
Happy Mother's Day!
"Come on Ma! I want a pic in my speedo!!!"

OK here we go.

2011-05-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

Now is going to be one of my more passionate posts...be WARNED! Foul language will be afoot.

I am probably one of the biggest 280ZX fans you will ever come close to. This is my actual car above...not a great pic...but she is bad ass anyhow. Not the fastest car on the road, but certainly one of the more fun to drive.

Background:
My dad owns a 1961 Corvette...he has owned it since I was 12. When we drove that car around...ALL other corvette owners, new and old...showed respect and waved. Some would stop and talk to us about the car, it is a beautiful car and will be running looooong after any Corvette made since 1984.

My ZX:
People who know of the ZX but don't own one...talk to me all the time...and I admit...I like it..Nice to get some attention from a car that deserves it...All these rice burners may look fast and have cool paint jobs, but they still nod, or at least look at it with some envy.
To the new 350 and 370ZX drivers who refuse to acknowledge it...FUCK YOU ALL!!
My car may not be worth $45,000 and may not be as fast...but i guarantee you my car will still be running while that piece of shit new 350 or 370 will be in a junk yard!
I don't want them to fawn all over my car...I am realistic about this...But if I wave to you, don't snub your nose up like I am driving some piece of shit Gremlin...it is the roots of where your car came from!
There are so few of the 1984-2003 300's on the road...you may ask yourself, why.
I still see 240's 260's and 280's Because they are built right!

Yes I am over the top about this car...it is one of my major passions, I have loved the 280ZX since the day I saw one in the advertisement of my dad's hidden Penthouse magazine when I was 13.

All I ask for is a two finger wave at the least...just acknowledge that you know your roots!!!!!

Sad thing is...people who drive them probably don't even care about the history of this car...pffft whatever.

New ZX owners need to take lessons from the Corvette people.

Heart Rate # 25

2011-05-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

No need to say much here...
"let's just ta-aaaaaa-ke a moment to look at this sli-uuuhhhhhh-de...there we are....anyone for a cigarette?"

Expectations

2011-05-01T08:19:00.000-07:00

I actually saw about 10 mins of the show that the guy on the right was aired on.
He is 5 times the moron he looks to be.
And now he will be working for minimum wage at best, for the rest of his life.
Good Job Jeremy!!! You DA MAN!!!
You show everyone how you can "buck the system" and not conform to the man.
Personally I am very proud of you, you won't listen to the haters...now your face is a piece of art...you will go down in history as how you were so unique and remembered as the guy with the awesome face! Then the high will wear off in a couple hours and you will look in the mirror and realize you are a complete fucktard.

People need to quit being retards

2011-04-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

Ok...small rant time. I know..."again...." you say with an exasperated sigh. But my personal bitch room, so here I go.

The pic above really has very little to do with my bitch, but I thought it was funny.
Buuuut, this kid will know what the hell he wants from the menu.

Ok this has happened to me like 5 times in 2 weeks now.
Background:
I am not the type of person who stands in front of a microwave yelling at it to hurry up, I am actually fairly easy going, but very opinionated as my 4 followers know.

When you go to the grocery store or fast food restaurant, you should have a pretty good idea what you want already. When you are at home or in the car deciding what to eat, and you say...BK or RBs or McDs...you already know what you want from there when you decided that. Very rare would be the time that you are thinking "I am not sure what I want, but I bet BK has it."

Since you know what you already want, then why the hell do you have to stare at the menu deciding on what you want!!! It is the same fucking menu they have had since cavemen ate there!!

My son does this to me too...I pull up to the drive through and he gives me his order immediately, so I order it, then I look to him and say "what to drink?" He says, at 17 years old mind you, "what do they have?"
Then my rage starts a welling..."THE SAME DRINKS THEY ALWAYS HAVE HAD!! YOU COULDN'T FIGURE THIS OUT IN THE LAST 8 MINS IN LINE AT THE DRIVE THROUGH!?!!"

GRRRRRRRR...then the grocery store...waited behind a 70ish year old lady in front of the milk cooler for 5 minutes while she tried to figure out which milk she wanted. AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
You are OLD AS FUCK!! YOU KNOW WHAT MILK YOU WANT!!! THE SAME MILK YOU HAVE BEEN DRINKING FOR 50 YEARS!!

Benefit of the doubt...if she were looking at expiration dates, I would be patient...NO!!! she could not decide if she wanted skim 1% 2 % I DONT CARE JUST GET ONE!!! I know this because she was talking out loud to herself.

RANT OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I need to go smoke and calm down.

Uncanny

2011-04-20T03:57:00.000-07:00

At least Wormser KNEW he was a nerd.
I have never listened to a single song by this guy, and don't think I ever will. He may be an amazing artist, and more power to him if he is.
But, I still want to punch him in the face...I saw a brief video of his while I was surfing for blog material, and all I could think is how bad I wanted to hit him.
You are a nerdy little white boy...quit acting like you are "with it" and just embrace your nerdness and work with it.
Just because you pay cool stars to be with you on stage does not make you cool.

Also...why is it ok for women of all ages to go nuts about him...If men went just as nuts about Brittney, when she was 15, we would have been considered Pedos?? double standards.

Take your cat for a drag.

2011-04-14T04:03:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure my cat would do the same thing.
You will not take your cat for a walk unless he decides you can!
You will not pet your cat unless he decides you can.
You will listen to your cat whine until you feed him.
You don't own a cat...it owns you.

Happy Easter!!!

2011-04-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

Wow...they just keep getting better.
Yay, internet!! Did not think the Oreo or the Dollars could be topped.
I was wrong.
Unbelievable!

Heart Rate # 24

2011-04-08T04:20:00.000-07:00

Ahh to be 21 again....heh who am I kidding...even at 21 I wouldn't have had a chance.
But according to the doctors...at least I am healthy for yet another day.

Every single morning!

2011-04-07T05:30:00.000-07:00

Every morning on my way to work there is some jackass driving 10-15 mph under the speed limit.

Every morning when I pass said jackass, they are on the fricking cell phone.

What is so fucking important that you have to talk on the phone during your commute?!?!

Is it your spouse, that you just saw 6 minutes ago? Your boss, who you are about to see?

Or did you decide to call your mom and catch up on good times...at 7am in the fucking morning?!?!

People need to get a grip on this,

IT IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!

YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!

And iiiiiiiffffff by some chance, it is the one in a million important call about you grandmother dying.....

PULL THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD!!

Grrrrrrrrr.....

Ok....cough

2011-04-04T04:31:00.000-07:00

Not sure what this is an ad for...my guess would be Imodium AD, but I doubt it.

WTF of the Week # 29

2011-04-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

I know it is hard to label this as WTF of the week when it has been 4 months since the last one.

But in my defence, I have not found many that are nearly that worthy. UNTIL NOW....

Seriously WTF?!?!?!

Faggot

2011-03-31T14:54:00.000-07:00

WARNING!!!! Very explicit language and subject.

So true....
My brother and I have called each other faggot since 10 years old...never meaning gay.
I actually had a lesbian whom I have known for a LOOOOONG time, even before she declared she was lesbian...who knew my brother and I referred to each other as faggot, get upset with me 15 years later...7 years after she decided she was gay...and tell me that the word offended her. (I say "Decided" because she decided she is not 100% gay anymore now she is bi and dating a man...go figure...whole different subject for another day.)

Anyway...I tried to be sensitive, in my own way...LOL no such thing...and I explained to her that she knows we have called each other faggot for 38 years. She did not care she wanted me to not use the word in front of her. So being the caring guy that I am...I said "well get over it you glazed donut licker" and my brother and I still call each other faggot to this day.

Shii ... Wii for Women

2011-03-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

Big ouch coming my way for this one.
But that doesn't make it any less funny.

The TP Truth

2011-03-23T04:32:00.000-07:00

But women never seem to have this problem....why?????

Heart Rate # 23

2011-03-22T04:31:00.000-07:00

Kind of a contradiction...Heart Attack Grill girl posted as a heart-helper.
Would be nice if one of these grills were in my town.

A major rant!

2011-03-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

WARNING!!! Foul language will be very abundant in this post.
If you don't like it...then don't read it. Whatever you do...don't bitch at me in a comment...bitching is my job...your jobs are to read my bitching and tell me if you like it or not....if you want to bitch, start your own blog.

This starts with the "Generation Next" this is the title given to the 18-25 year-olds today...
The fucking... look at me I am so self absorbed in my own world that I can not see anything around me...I am to busy texting and on the phone to notice anything but ME!...generation.

I dedicate the rest of this to the GN'er at Burger King today...if by the 1 in a billion chance she were to see this...that would be wonderful.
I am in line at the drive through at a BK waiting patiently where 2 lines are merging to 1. I let the car to my left get in front of me, and it was the last car on the left. with 3 cars directly behind me. As I am getting ready to pull forward this girl (on the cell phone) comes rolling right in and misses my car by about 6 inches to cut me and the 3 people behind me off.

I sat behind her wondering what I could do, to equally piss her off, since she did not notice the cigarette I flicked at her closed window. I waited until she pulled up to the speaker and rolled her window down...
"thank you for choosing BK may I help you?"
"yes I wou...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP..."
"I'm sorry ma'am could you repeat that?"
"I would lik...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP..." I was feeling pretty good about this game at this point...my horn is OBNOXIOUS loud.

"ma'am I still did not understand what you ordered"
"This guy behind me keeps...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP...I dont know what his prob...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" Evil Grin!

Then she turns out of her window and says "what's your problem?!?"
I said "You! you selfish bitch!"
She said something I didn't hear, over my horn again...hehehe
I then let her order...she turns to me again with a smug look and smiled.
so I said " do you really feel better after pissing three to four cars of people off to get one fucking space ahead?!?!"
"yes I do"
"that's because you are a stupid fucking whore!!! " I struck the nerve then...yay! but her oncoming remark left me stupefied. No Bullshit...she says "I have two fucking kids in the backseat and they are hungry!!! Do you have any kids with you?!? So, yeah, I needed to get in front to feed my kids!!"

What do you say to that? There are a million possibilities but none of them would register to someone that stupid. I had no idea how to retaliate, so I made an "AWWWW" face at her like I was throwing a pity party (which for a professional Sarcasticist, is sooo weak...I am ashamed.)

Then I hear her at the first window telling the guy..."I don't know why this asshole behind me is being such a jerk...he said something about me cutting off three people...he is just an asshole"
Again...I was dumbfounded at her stupidity. If she would have just paid any attention in the least bit to her surroundings, or showed the slightest tiny bit of courtesy, this would have been avoided. No, she was on her cell having to talk to who knows who about nothing important, self absorbed so tightly in her own little world that she has no idea what the fuck is going on around her.

So if by some miniscule chance she reads this...FUCK YOU you stupid ass self absorbed bitch!

Next time any of you are at a grocery store...or at red lights...or anywhere in public...watch everyone around you and take notice of how they all have no idea what is happening around them. I honestly believe that a man could fall to the ground and have a heart attack and would die before anyone under the age of 25 would even notice, let alone do something about it.

The world does not revolve around you...get over yourselves!

I am done with this rant...I could write entire pages on cell phones, driving, common courtesy, kids..etc....
Actually I will write on a few of those, because I feel better after having a bitch session on the internet.

Dumbass self-absorbed blog writer..fuck you too!!

Instant Kharma

2011-03-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

Exposure

2011-03-14T04:35:00.000-07:00

So fricking true!!
If women do not want us looking...then quit showing. Otherwise SHUT UP!!
Wearing purely advertising clothes, top and bottom...then to give dirty looks when guys look. Just plain stupid. If you don't want the attention then don't wear it.

This can get me started in on the discriminating workplace against men and clothing...
Women can wear a tank-top and call it a blouse...men can do nothing even close.
Women wear open toed sandals...men...no chance.
Women wear skirts, skorts, and culottes...men....NOPE.
Serious double standard when it comes to equal rights. You want equal rights then dress like men, and don't get promotions because of outfits worn.

Pretty damn nasty.

2011-03-07T04:03:00.000-08:00

Not real sure what this may have been an ad for, but damn is that nasty!

Look at this dog.

2011-03-03T03:59:00.000-08:00

Gilligan must be an awesome dog!
Great sign, wish I had thought of it.

So Wrong!

2011-02-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

I know I am a dick for posting such things...but it entertains me.

LMAO!

320,000 Firecrackers

2011-02-25T21:24:00.000-08:00

I would love to do this on one of those neighborhood firework battles.

Very cool dancing

2011-02-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

Video is 5 mins long....but if you have the time, it is great.

Duct Tape

2011-02-22T04:20:00.000-08:00

Yes! If it were only that easy.
My dad did that to me when i was 14 and it tore off my starter mustache.
Those were the days...

Heart Rate #22

2011-02-21T04:18:00.001-08:00

And then I woke up....

Happy Birthday to me!

2011-02-18T04:24:00.000-08:00

Another year older...wooo....hoo...
I am so excited I can barely contain myself...
so when you reach double the drinking age, does that mean you can drink twice as much?
more likely, that I cant drink half as much and I am just plain old.

Good Point

2011-02-16T04:05:00.000-08:00

Seems we all should pay attention to this sign.

That's crazy

2011-02-14T04:00:00.000-08:00

Someone lose a bet?

The exorcism

2011-02-09T04:20:00.000-08:00

Classic!
I am sure there are a few who don't get it...the note that is.
If you cant read it, then click it to make it bigger. If you don't get the joke...sorry.

MMMMMMM what a babe!!!

2011-02-05T16:36:00.000-08:00

I can almost smell those pits through my screen.
Sorry for those of you who ran out of the eye-bleach.

Redneck family

2011-02-02T04:42:00.000-08:00

Too..many....stereotypes..........sarcasm...overload

Cena with Ass kickin and outie bellybutton and posing the tat...,,,,

I can't process it all...aaaaaaaaaagh!!

Grab it for Jesus

2011-01-25T03:55:00.000-08:00

If he was not in such deep concentration with the tongue out...it may not have been so bad....

Really man...get someone to block if you have to readjust.

Ecspecially with Jesus on your chest.

Oh yeah....don't hand the baton to me...not after where your hands have been!

Heart Rate #21

2011-01-24T04:23:00.000-08:00

The Real # 21

A little skinny for my taste but great shape none-the-less.

Steppin over the line!

2011-01-23T10:15:00.000-08:00

This one is definitely stepping over the line...but it is only fitting for my blog.
Made me laugh and just about gag at the same time.
Just keep in mind, I am only the delivery boy here...don't kill the messenger.
I did not create it, I only share it.

Dub FX

2011-01-21T04:45:00.000-08:00

I guess this would be my official plug for someone...
I bought this guys album after watching this video and a few others by him that I found.
He is incredible...very upbeat songs and they have messages that mean something instead of mindless, trying to be in the top 40 music.
Hope you enjoy!
Here is his website http://www.dubfx.bandcamp.com/

Fist Boner

2011-01-21T04:03:00.000-08:00

Never thought of it this way, but i like it!

Sexy as hell Sword Dance

2011-01-20T18:02:00.001-08:00

I just find this very sexy....I may be the only one...but it is my blog so I get the vote!

Can't unsee

2011-01-20T04:08:00.000-08:00

Once you see it, you cannot unsee it!!

The big one that got away...

2011-01-18T20:46:00.000-08:00

Some of you who know me, may have heard this "big fish tale"...the rest of you...hope you find it interesting.

When I was around 13-14 years old, I went fishing with a friend on the Hillsborough River in Tampa.
We sat on a dock with bread and our Zebco 202 rod and reel combo's...(to the non-fishermen out there...Zebco 202 is the $19.99 one push button setups...very cheap, but awesome when you are 13.)
My buddy had a pack of Black Cat firecrackers with him...we screwed around with the firecrackers while trying to catch small shiners with the bread balls we were making with our loaf of Wonder bread.
He caught a BIG shiner...about 10 inches long...very big on the shiner scale.

Not actual shiner

Doing as boys do when left to their own devices...we stuck a Black Cat in the shiner's mouth....ran....POW!...went back to find a headless shiner....I KNOW I KNOW...we were kids...no hate mail please.

Anyhow...this was good bait...so we thought...to catch a Big Bass. Now, I know, we were wrong...dead blown apart shiner is not good bass bait...but at 13 I did not know. So we got out our biggest hook "made for Big Bass"...stuck the big red and white bobber on with about a 2 foot lead from the hook....Bobber "made for Big Bass" had about a 4" diameter, so it would take the Big Bass to bring it under.
I slung the whole rig all the way out to dead center of the river...where the Big Bass stay.

We waited...5 minutes...nothing....so back to shiners and firecrackers. Eat some packed sandwiches and drank the, now very warm, grape sodas in the cooler. My best guess is an hour and a half passed.
We didn't see the bobber dive...we heard the splash and it being dragged though the water.

I ran and grabbed my Zebco, which was just leaning on a Cyprus knee...I pulled back and set the hook....had to be pro fisherman style, wish I had a photo to show you how cool I was.

It has to be a HUGE Bass!!!

Then the moment I still see when thinking about this event...

It jumped out of the water... a good 4 feet of it, thrashing it's head back and forth.. with the tail still somewhat in the water.
The same dinosauric creatures you see above. The Alligator Gar.
Keep in mind, it was at least 40 yards out into the middle of the river. But I did see the dorsal fin which is right next to the tail so 4 feet long is a pretty good guess.
When we saw it we both screamed, "GAR!!!!"

Then I stood there in kind of a shock moment as it hit me, that we have a fish with LOTS of teeth, about 4 feet long on the end of my line.
So I half-hearted pulled back on the pole, while my drag was whizzing....and as all the fishermen know...SNAP! lost the bobber and all...
we stood in silence for about 30 seconds...awestruck...
then we both yelled "did you see the size of that thing?!?!?!"

By the time we got home it was about a 6-8 foot Aligator Gar, that almost pulled me into the river.

Did not catch the fish...but that moment was talked about for years between us.

Not the cool, caught a bad ass fish tale...but it was damn cool at the time!
Besides, I know what a shiner looks like after having an explosive jammed in its mouth...not many can say that....sorry PETA, was a different age back in 1982...slingshots and marbles were fun!!!

Thanks for reading through...hope you liked it.

Heart Rate #21 with fear

2011-01-18T15:13:00.000-08:00

Just kidding!

How many just wretched?

Mmmmmmm...cottage cheese muffin. Takes the muffin top to a whole new level.

Extreme comb-over

2011-01-17T14:48:00.000-08:00

Sigh...

No, really, ....sigh.....

I will never understand this...I will refrain from the rehash of the rant in the previous post Combover.

Sigh...

SHAVE YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!!!!!

I feel a Heart Rate coming soon...I need some good, since I am getting so discouraged by people.

Sigh...

Yay Lisa!!

2011-01-17T04:14:00.000-08:00

Do they really not notice these things?
Bet Lisa became much more popular after this went out.

Ooooh what is her phone number?

2011-01-12T05:07:00.000-08:00

To all of you who ran out of eyebleach....your welcome!
The home cut hair bangs just do it for me soooooo well.
Judging by the ring...this was an ex-husbands posting somewhere to piss her off.

Good for him!!!!!!

other than the fact that he was married to that,

No Drama

2011-01-12T04:54:00.000-08:00

If only people would heed the sign.
Seems that even when you think the drama may be gone...it will call you and get the blood pressure on the rise.
I think I need to take up some bad vices, maybe it would make it more fun!
Oh well...I am beginning to believe that without the drama, life would be boring.

Hey Hey! my little fruity pies...

2011-01-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

Look at this!...no wait...don't split.
It is Berry nice to look at...I do so love a pear shaped bottom!
Ba-na -na-na nah...hey hey goood bye.

Ok thats all I got....bout as lame as I could possibly get. But a funny picture none-the-less.

Sticky car

2011-01-05T04:33:00.000-08:00

I would never have the patience to do it...but it is briliant!

It is only fair

2010-12-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

The male version or the camel toe.
The rhubarb?
LOL enjoy Mr. Itchy...I so love tormenting my homophobic friend with these type pics.

Political

2010-12-28T03:59:00.000-08:00

One of my rare political posts.
Pretty funny too.

Golden Arches

2010-12-23T04:27:00.000-08:00

Yes! teach your kids to aspire to work at a fast food restaurant.

Reminds me of when my daughter was 8 and said she wanted to grow up to be a Walmart cashier.

Let me just pay a company to advertise thier product.

Sigh.....sad thing is, people probably bought this thing.

Cats

2010-12-22T04:01:00.000-08:00

Now that I have a new kitten named Angus, I will probably become one of those dorky cat people. But I do promise to never post in LOLspeak....EVER. But I cannot promise that won't post cat pictures that I find funny and non-cat people probably won't find funny.

I just cannot figure this picture out...besides it being a derp cat. Is it even alive or is it a stuffed cat?
If it is alive then what the hell is it doing?

Alarm Pie Chart

2010-12-20T17:50:00.000-08:00

I fall into the blue category over and over and over.
Have done the others and they are so true.

Heart Rate #20

2010-12-15T04:00:00.000-08:00

Not a big fan of self pics like this..except this one is nice.
And since I have slacked due to all kinds of personal stuff going on, I figure I will make all my male followers and I suppose some female followers a little happier today...and me too.

Fine print

2010-12-10T04:11:00.000-08:00

Always read the fine print!