Bug of the week # 2

The ALMIGHTY FLORIDA COCKROACH.

Anyone who knows me, knows that this is some sort of sick, self mental mutilation.

I cannot begin to describe how much I hate these bugs.

I grew up in Tampa and you can't escape the "Palmetto Bugs" or "cockroaches" or "Nasty ass, heat seeking, flying demons from hell" whatever you want to call them.

Here in Tennessee...the locals who have never been to Florida or New York, have absolutely no idea how big these things get. They have little German cockroaches here...which is like putting a Leer jet next to a Boeing 747 and saying it is the same. I don't knock the nastiness of the German cousins...they are still roaches...still nasty...but you can flick one away and it is dead.

If you went to flick one of the Florida monsters...you would be lucky to still have your hand when you were done.

German minis don't fly either.

For those who cannot get the perspective in the photos...the Palmetto bug averages 1.75 inches in length..does not count the 6 foot antennae. I have found them upwards of 3 inches.

Did I mention they FRICKING FLY !

The movie "Joe's Apartment" was horrifying for me...yet for some sick reason I watched the whole movie 3 times over a few years. I guess it is like people who are afraid of clowns watching "It".

Oh and not only do they fly...they fly AT YOU!

If you turn your back and run..they will be on your shoulder waiting for you to stop..then they will wave a little hello at you with their antennae.

Of course at that point it is very fun for all those around to watch the 6'4" 300lb man turn into a screaming 6 year old.

Arms flailing as I rip my shirt off and scream in circles for about 10 mins...

Then, with every nerve ending in my body standing at full attention on high red alert, I fight the heebie jeebies for the next 6 hours.

THEY F**KING FLY!!!!

TN German pansy ass mini bugs...pfffft...

I will stay in TN, there are no prehistoric monster gargantuan roaches from the pits of hell, here.